Begin Again
by EyexLinerxWhore
Summary: An apology doesn't really clear the slate, but it acknowledges that mistakes were made. An apology is the first step in trying to start over. (Part 3 in a series following "Bad Things")


_Here we are again. I said there was more to come. I'm trying not to post all of them at the same time as to not overwhelm everyone, but everything is done minus editing and adding in little notes like this. Uh... What else can I say? Oh, Read Blue, Love on the Brain and Bad Things if you're just now joining the party. If you've been on this ride with me for a minute now, you know what's up. So... Let's get to it, shall we?_

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 **Begin Again  
**

 _'We need to talk.'_

He read it over and over again for at least five minutes. It had been almost a week since he had shown up at her apartment unannounced. They had kissed and it was like nothing had changed. It felt familiar. It felt safe. It felt like home. But just as soon as all those feelings swirled in him, she pulled away as if someone had flipped a switch.

Everything had changed.

He was married and assumed she was seeing someone new by the voice he'd heard when he was there. Receiving a text from her wanting to talk was strange, but made him feel hopeful; it made him wonder if she'd kept his number and pictures. Much like he did of hers, but never told Alessia about it.

 _'When and where?'_

She responded shortly after, _'Come over when you're not busy.'_

When he got to her apartment, the door was unlocked.

"Knock, knock."

She was in the kitchen in her workout clothes. Black and red leggings and a black racer back tank.

"You hungry?" She asked as he sat at the bar.

"Are you trying to butter me up?" He was teasing; a smirk on his face and all.

"No. I'm starving so I thought I'd offer." Her face was hard and serious as she spoke.

This was going to be one of _**those**_ talks.

"No, I'm good. Thank you."

She gave a curt nod before going about making her some breakfast.

"So who was that guy that..."

She cut him off, "Is that really what you want to talk about?"

"You invited me over, sweetheart." He smiled as he held back a chuckle.

"Don't sweetheart me, Pestock." She pointed the fork she was scrambling her eggs with at him. She turned back to the stove and poured them in a screaming hot skillet.

He chuckled. He missed that.

"Don't laugh. You show up unannounced and kiss me like I'm your woman. You're fucking married. Have you lost your goddamned mind?"

"Your eggs are burning."

"Stop trying to change the subject."

"No, really your eggs are burning." He pointed to the stove.

She turned to the stove, "Goddammit!" She yelled grabbing the skillet off of the burner and dropping it in the sink with a loud clang. "Fuck." She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"You alright?"

"No." She said sharply.

He was quiet.

"What the fuck was that, Tom? Seriously."

"Seriously?"

She turned to look at him, putting her hands on her hips.

"It was me realizing that I'm still in love with you."

She frowned, "You're what?"

"You heard me, Brennan."

She chuckled humorlessly.

"And I wanted to come over to apologize for how things went down between us."

"Almost two and half years and a marriage later. Okay."

"Don't do that shit."

"What shit?"

"Being a little sarcastic smart ass. You wanted me to be serious, so I am. You should try it."

"You don't deserve that from me. I just wanted to know why you thought bringing your married ass to my home and kissing me was a smart thing to do."

"It was something I needed to do. I needed you to know."

"A lot of good that does me now." She folded her arms, but wouldn't look at him.

"I shouldn't have married her."

She rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"Is that why you showed up to the wedding? Did you think it would stop me?"

"If that was my plan, it sure in the fuck backfired." She gestured to his hands; his left one in particular.

He started, "Can you..."

She cut him off, "I came because I thought if I saw you marrying her, I could let go of you. Really let go of you. But, it turns out I couldn't sit and watch you do that when part of me still feels like it should be me."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"I know, but I want to hear you say it again." He stood from his stool and walked around the counter until he was just in front of her. Not touching, but close enough that if he wanted to, he could.

"I'm not say-..." She shook her head looking up at him. She swallowed thickly. He reached out for her, resting his hand on the side of her neck, his thumb brushing her cheek like so many times before in the past. She closed her eyes as he pulled her in. He rested his forehead on hers.

"It doesn't matter how I feel, Tommy. You made your choice." She whispered.

"I know. And I chose wrong." He pulled away from her. She kept her eyes closed until she felt him remove his hand. She slowly opened her eyes to see him running his hand over his face, his brown eyes shining.

"Tommy..."

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry betrayed your trust." His voice wavered as a few tears slipped down his cheeks. "I'm sorry I ruined us. And I hope one day, you can truly forgive me."

She stepped towards him, wiping his tears. He grabbed her wrist, keeping her hand in place. Even that felt different from when Alessia would do it.

"Just promise me that, alright?"

She didn't owe him that. He knew that. He wouldn't be surprised if she hated his guts for the rest of their natural lives.

She didn't respond right away. She stood on her tip toes and pressed a gentle chaste kiss to his lips, "I can't promise you that, but I'll try."

He knew he should've dropped her hand in that instant, but he didn't. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in closer, intensifying their kiss. If this was going to be the last time, he was going to savor it.

When they finally pulled away from each other, she held him a little bit tighter. He was leaving her all over again. And this time for good so he could really start his life with his new wife.

He kissed her on her forehead then turned to leave.

She turned to scrape burned eggs from her skillet when her phone dinged.

It was Tommy.

 _'You never told me who the guy was.'_

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 _So, that was Part 3. Pretty short, but you get the idea. What did you guys think? Leave a review. I would say they feed the muses, but those little shits are on hiatus already. Not to worry though, there's still PLENTY more to come._

 _Stay tuned...  
_


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